1st trimester nausea
Don't pick up your dog's poop while you're on walks.
Never don't eat!
2nd trimester nosebleeds
Blow nose regularly.
Don't leave tissues in toilet because that grosses the kids out to try peeing on the bloody tissues.
Take allergy pills daily and wipe inside of freshly picked nose with carmex.
3nd trimester stretched skin and feeling like upper belly is on fire
Put out the fire with ice on that baby.
For upper back pain in conjunction with corresponding rib pain while sitting or sleeping
First use heating pad, until pain is no longer fazed by heating pad.
Upgrade to back vibrating massager every 1/2 hour while attempting to sleep.
Never sit down.
Never sleep.
